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  • The subtle art of not giving a f*ck 

    The subtle art of not giving a f*ck 

    Book Author: Mark Manson

    My thoughts:

    This book showed up in my Insta feed and I decided to give it a read, at the beginning of 2022.

    To begin with, there is an extremely generous use of the F word throughout the book. Mark has it sprinkled in as many sentences as he possibly could. If you find that offensive, don’t pick up the book.

    I found the first half – unlike other self-help books I’ve read – filled with nuggets of tough love and truth bombs. The second half of the book was not too different from what you’ll read in any other self-help book. Towards the end, I found it extremely boring and a slow read. In fact, I had a hard time finishing up the book.

    Quotes from the book:

    • The desire for a more positive experience is in itself a negative experience.
    • The acceptance of one’s negative experience is itself a positive experience.
    • Everything worthwhile in life is won through surmounting the associated negative experience.
    • Life is an endless series of problems. Hope for a life full of good problems.
    • True happiness occurs only when you find the problems you enjoy having and enjoy solving.
    • Everything comes with an inherent sacrifice-whatever makes us feel good will also make us feel bad.
    • What pain do you want in your life? What are you willing to struggle for?
    • Who you are is defined by what you’re willing to struggle for.
    • The truth is that there’s no such thing as a personal problem. If you have a problem chances are millions of other people have had it in the past, have it now, and are going to have it in the future. It just means you’re not special.
    • A lot of people are afraid to accept mediocrity because they believe that if they accept it, they’ll never achieve anything, never improve, and their life won’t matter.
    • The acknowledge and acceptance of your own mundane existence will actually free you to accomplish what you truly wish to accomplish without judgment or lofty expectations.
    • If you’re miserable in your current situation, chances are it’s because you feel like some part of it is outside your control – that there’s a problem you have no ability to solve, a problem that was somehow thrust upon you without your choosing.
    • When we feel like we are choosing our problems we feel empowered. You are always choosing.
    • Don’t be special; don’t be unique. Redefine your metrics in mundane and broad ways. Choose to measure yourself not as a rising star or an undiscovered genius. Choose to measure yourself not as some horrible victim or dismal failure. Instead, measure yourself by more mundane identities: a student, a partner, a friend, a creator.
    • This often means giving up some grandiose ideas about yourself: that you’re uniquely intelligent, or spectacularly talented, or intimidatingly attractive, or especially victimized in ways other people could never imagine. 
    • If it feels like it’s you versus the world, chances are it’s really just you versus yourself.
    • Life is about not knowing and then doing something anyway. All of life is like this. It never changes.
    • If you’re stuck on a problem, don’t sit there and think about it; just start working on it. Even if you don’t know what you’re doing, the simple act of working on it will eventually cause the right ideas to show up in your head.
    • Don’t just sit there. Do something. The answers will follow.
    • We are defined by what we choose to reject.

    Do something and then harness the reaction to that action as a way to begin motivating.

    MARk manson

  • Reflecting on my 2021 book reads

    Reflecting on my 2021 book reads

    My goal for 2021 was to read 12 books. By the end of the year, I read 22 books, which is way more than my usual yearly quota.

    I rekindled my love for reading during the pandemic. Last year I also connected with book bloggers and friends who gave out good recommendations and inspired me to read more.

    Here are the list of books with my ratings and thoughts from the reading list:

    Books read in 2021 by Femy Praseeth
    1. Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil ★★★★★

    This is a non-fiction novel, a category I never knew existed. This is also the first crime novel I read since my teen years. I would never have picked this one if not for the recommendation from a friend.

    This book is entertaining and captivating, in spite of a slow start. with quirky characters and funny rituals. I was fascinated by the historical old town, Savannah, in Georgia where the story happens, to the point where I googled the place and made a mental note to visit Savannah someday. This was also the last book I read in 2021.

    1. When Breath Becomes Air ★★★★★
    2. The Last Lecture ★★★★★
    3. The Top Five Regrets of the Dying: A Life Transformed by the Dearly Departing ★★★★★
    4. Tuesdays with Morrie ★★★★★
    5. The Phone Booth at the Edge of the World ★★★★★
    6. The Five People You Meet in Heaven ★★★☆☆

    Surprisingly, I read more books on grief, loss, and death this year than ever before:

    • 2 books written by the dying – When breath becomes air, The last lecture.
    • 2 books about folks who talked with the dying – The Top Five Regrets of the Dying loss, Tuesdays with Morrie.
    • 2 novels dealing with grief, mourning and afterlife – The Phone Booth at the Edge of the World, The Five People You Meet in Heaven

    These books along with the pandemic crept into my subconscious and made a subtle shift in my perspectives and my priorities in life and work.

    It helped me get a deeper understanding of my losses, be more gentle with myself and my reactions to life events. Sometimes, it’s comforting to know that “you’re not the only one”.

    1. Greenlights ★★★★★
    2. I Am a Girl from Africa ★★★★★
    3. The Choice: Embrace the Possible ★★★★★
    4. Tell Me More ★★★★★
    5. Broken ★★★☆☆
    6. Buy Yourself the F*cking Lilies ★★★☆☆

    There’s always something to learn from others and their stories. If you meet me you’ll see that I ask too many questions. This curiosity led me to read more biographies and memoirs this year.

    “I Am a Girl from Africa” is about the life of a girl who beats all odds to achieve her dream of working for the United Nations and her struggles along the way.

    It’s unlike any book on Africa I’ve read, filled with stories from her life in Africa, peppered with beautiful African proverbs.

    “Greenlights” is a memoir by Matthew McConaughey. Although I was never a fan of his acting, I found him quite intelligent and his writing absolutely enchanting.

    This was not a memoir about how he achieved his success, It was more about how he stayed true to who he is, once he was inundated with roles after his success.

    You understand why the characters he plays are crude and real. You also get to read the story behind those famous three words!

    “The Choice” is written by a 90-year old holocaust survivor who is currently practicing as a therapist. This is my first book about the holocaust and the survival stories are heart-wrenching.

    The book takes you through how she helps her patients heal from their trauma while also coping with her struggles from the experience at the concentration camps.

    I highly recommend these 3 books.

    1. Bird by Bird ★★★☆☆
    2. On Writing Well ★★★★★

    I always enjoyed writing as a hobby, Recently I’ve taken an interest in honing the craft as I began working with the Documentation team at WordPress.

    “On Writing Well” is an excellent guidebook to improve writing non-fiction with practical tips and examples. You’ll learn how to eliminate clutter and simplify your work. This one is a required read if you do any kind of writing and maybe even multiple reads to solidify the principles. I highly recommend this book if you want to improve your writing skills.

    “Bird by Bird” is more a self-help book for writers. It debunks a lot of myths about writers’ lives. It is sprinkled with tips for writing fiction while also taking you through the author’s personal life.

    1. The Everything Store ★★★★★
    2. Essentialism ★★★★★

    I read fewer books on business and entrepreneurship this year.

    “The Everything Store” was a surprise read. I thought I will be fairly bored reading this one, but Brad’s simple narrative was captivating. It’s a good read to learn about the origins and inner workings of Amazon.

    “Essentialism” was the first book I read in 2021. After a year through the pandemic, I was ready for a fresh start. This book helped me discern what’s essential to accomplish and what’s best ignored. It will make a great re-read at the beginning of every year.

    1. The Untethered Soul ★★★★★
    2. Creative Visualization★★★☆☆
    3. O’s Little Guide to Finding Your True Purpose ★★★☆☆
    4. How to Be an Artist ★★☆☆☆
    5. I’d Rather Be Reading ★★★★☆

    My interest in self-help books and books on creativity seemed to be weaning down.

    Maybe I am at a point in life where I realize there is more to life than building a company, starting a creative business, or constantly improving oneself.

    Maybe it’s time to just live an ordinary life, enjoy the mundane and make this one life we have magical!

    You’re sitting on a planet spinning around in the middle of absolutely nowhere. Go ahead, take a look at reality. You’re floating in empty space in a universe that goes on forever. If you have to be here, at least be happy and enjoy the experience.

    -The untethered soul

    My goodreads annual report had some interesting stats:

    • 22 books read
    • 5,694 pages read
    • Average book length in 2021 : 258 pages
    • Shortest book: 144 pages (How to Be an Artist)
    • Longest book: 416 pages (The Phone Booth at the Edge of the World )
    • Most Popular book 1,319,396 people also shelved (Tuesdays with Morrie)
    • Least Popular 969 people also shelved (O’s Little Guide to Finding Your True Purpose )
    • Highest Rated on Goodreads : 4.58 average (The Choice: Embrace the Possible)

    Have you read any of these books? What did you think about them? How many books did you read in 2021? What are some books you can recommend me?