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  • Greenlights

    Greenlights

    Book Author: Matthew McConaughey

    My thoughts and what I learned:

    Matthew McConaughey was never my favorite actor.  In fact, I didn’t like the many performances that I have seen of him. I picked up the book after I read it in the recommended list of books by a blogger. 

    The designer in me was fascinated by the book design with all the scribbles and the handwritten notes, the polaroid photographs, the script font of chapter titles, and the post-it design of the TOC. I was intrigued by the unusual name for a Memoir as well.

    Part 1 was a bit boring as I was not keen on learning about his relationship with his parents and siblings and his childhood stories.

    Don’t walk into a store like you wanna buy it.  Walk in like you own it.

    his mom

    I was more interested to read about his career- the setbacks and stumbles along the way to becoming the popular actor he is now, how he found his path and survived the failures -which I was sure he had plenty of- on the way to stardom.

    To my surprise, I didn’t find many stories of his failing and persisting. In that sense, this is a different kind of book.

    He talks about his struggles once he achieves stardom instead of the struggles to get to stardom and the happily ever after that the reader is left to imagine.

    He talks about his journey to find the true person he is, and to stay his truth once he achieved stardom-to that person, and to whatever he does.

    I’d rather lose money having fun than make money being bored.

    his dad

    Matthew is an amazing writer and thinker. His style of writing and his choice of words are beautiful “Audacious existentialism.  Deconstructing to construct. Geographic splendor.”. I am surprised he has not written more books.

    Reading the story behind how he landed his most popular dialogue, those three words (Alright Alright Alright) that follow him everywhere 28 years later, was interesting.

    Sometimes when we start a project, hardly do we realize the magnanimity of what that project could possibly turn into later. For Matthew, it was the first words on the very first night of the job that he thought would be a hobby but later turned, into his stellar career.

    Reading this memoir helped me understand why the characters he played were rugged, raw, and rough.

    Most of his characters were inspired by the people he met in his trailer life which was essentially the “front row seats to real life”. Maybe that’s why I never liked him in the movie?

    Maybe it’s time to rewatch some of the movies, now that I know him better?

    Quotes from the book that caught my attention:

    • The world is conspiring to make me happy.
    • Catching a green light is about timing. The world’s timing. And ours. When we are in the zone. On the frequency and in the flow.
    • Everything we do in life is part of the plan. Sometimes the plan goes as intended and sometimes it doesn’t.  That’s part of the plan.
    • The problems we face today turn into blessings in the rearview mirror.  It’s a matter of how we see the challenge in front of us and how we engage with it.  Persist. Pivot. Or concede. It’s up to us. Our choice every time.
    • Words have expectations and consequences.
    • A denied expectation hurts more than a denied hope. A fulfilled hope makes you happier than a fulfilled expectation.  Hope for a higher return on happiness and less debit on denial.
    • Create structure so you can have freedom. Map your direction so you can swerve in the lane.
    • We need discipline, guidelines, context, and responsibility early in any endeavor.
    • Knowing who you are is hard. Eliminate who you are not first and we will find ourselves where we need to be. We must first remove that which causes the most friction to our core being.
    • There was a lesson I was out there to learn that there was a silver lining in all of this that I needed to go through hell to get to the other side.

    Do whatever you want to do in life but don’t half-ass it.

    his dad
    • Style is knowing who you are, what you want to say and not giving a damn.
    • You know who you are when you become independent enough to believe your own thoughts and become responsible for your actions and you not only believe what you want but you LIVE what you believe
    • The more we travel the more we realize how similar our human needs  are. We want to be loved, have a family, community and something to look forward to.
    • Days of prosperity make us forget adversity.  Good times seem out of reach during the bad ones.  Both can seem like final destinations.
    • Taking the road less traveled can make all the difference. It may be the road that we personally have traveled less. The introvert may have to get out of the house, engage with the world and go public.  The extrovert may need to stay home and read a book.
    • Don’t walk the “it’s too late, it’s too soon” tightrope until you die.
    • We are all made for every moment we encounter. Don’t create imaginary constraints.
    • Sometimes we don’t need advice. Sometimes we only need to hear we are not the only one.
    • Sometimes which choice you make is not as important as MAKING a choice and committing to it.
    • Some people looks for an excuse to do. Others look for an excuse not to do.
    • I have never had trouble turning the page in the book of my life. Guilt and regret kill many a man before their time. Get off the ride. You’re the author of the book of your life.  Turn the page.
    • We must be aware of what we attract in life because it is no accident or coincidence. Sometimes we don’t need to make things happen. Our souls are infinitely magnetic.
    • The genius can do anything. But does one thing at a time.
    • Grandkids are twice as nice and half the work.
    • Being surrounded by senior citizens will remind you of your own mortality and make you feel younger at the same time.
    • Staying active and social is the key to longevity.
    • Death, family crisis and newborns. There are three things that will shake your floor and give you clarity, remind you of your own mortality, give you the courage to live harder, stronger and truer. three things that make you ask yourself “What matters”.
    • If we all made sense of humor the default emotion, we’d all get along better.

    On finding this truth

    I had crossed a Truth.  I think it found me. Because I put myself in a place to be found. I put myself in a place to receive it. I believe the truth is all around us all the time. We don’t identify, grasp, hear, see or access them because we are not in the right place to.  We have to make a plan. The plan to find out the truth.

    First, we need to put ourselves in a place to receive the truth. Then be aware enough to receive it and conscious enough to recognize it.

    We need the presence to personalize it. We ask ourselves what it means and how it’s unique to us and why it’s here now.

    Then comes the patience to persevere. Keep it lit and not let it flutter. This takes commitment, time, and attendance. Have the courage to live it. To have the courage to walk away from that place where it found u. Take that truth with us into our daily lives. Practice it. Make it an active part of who we are.

    His tips when facing a crisis.

    1. Recognize the problem
    2. Stabilize the situation.
    3. Organize the response
    4. Respond.

    Some truthbombs

    • If you’re gonna do this, if you’re gonna commit to this change, then we are gonna do it all the way. No half-assing it.
    • Life is not a popularity contest. Be brave. Take the hill but first answer. What is my hill? What is success to me? Continue to ask that question.
    • Whatever your answer is don’t choose anything that will jeopardize your soul. Prioritize who you are. Who you want to be. Don’t spend time with anything that antagonizes your character.
    • If I couldn’t do what I wanted I wasn’t going to do what I didn’t. No matter what the price.
    • Rather than struggle against time and waste it lets dance with time and redeem it. Because we don’t live longer when we try not to die we live longer when we are too busy living.
    • Life is our resume. It is our story to tell.  And the choices we make write the chapters.  Can we live in a way where we look forward to looking back?  In our eulogy, our story will be told by others and forever introduce us when we are gone.
  • Ikigai, the Japanese secret to a happy life

    Ikigai, the Japanese secret to a happy life

    Book Author: Francesc Miralles and Hector Garcia

    My thoughts and what I learned:

    The book explores the lives of people living in Okinawa, Japan which has the highest life expectancy in the world.

    Ikigai: “There is a passion inside you, a unique talent, that gives meaning to your days and drives you to share the best of yourself until the very end.”

    The western world has created our life’s purpose as something grand and life-altering. Something that everyone should actively pursue, to find happiness.

    This book will prompt you to stop being hard on yourself seeking your life’s purpose. Your life’s purpose doesn’t have to be awe-inspiring, ambitious, or world-changing. Finding your purpose doesn’t have to be a strategic scheme and you don’t have to worry too much about finding it.

    We need to stay curious, be led by curiosity, do the things we enjoy, keep doing the things that fill us with happiness, get away from negativity and negative people.

    “It doesn’t have to be big things.“

    We can find meaning in being good parents or cooking or saying hello to our neighbors or volunteering.

    Your ikigai can be in the simple things you enjoy doing, the things that bring you into a state of flow and make you happy. Your happiness and ikigai are in leading a simpler life, in staying curious, avoiding major stressors, challenging yourself enough. In eating healthy, sleeping, and being with children and pets and a community of friends.

    You can be busy pursuing your ikigai but not be rushed. Being busy is ok, it is about doing your tasks with a sense of calm.

    Recently, I find that our culture and social media are filled with productivity tips and exercise routines, people running marathons, and doing strength training and beauty regiments. This book shows you that doing simple things is good enough. You don’t have to run a marathon, just add movement to your day and keep moving throughout the day.

    If you picked up this book hoping that it will guide you to finding your ikigai, you will be disappointed. The book is more about telling you how important it is to live a life following your ikigai and how your ikigai will help you lead a long and happy life, with insights from Okinawa. It doesn’t provide any guidance on how to figure out your Ikigai, which was what I was originally hoping for, from the book.

    Okinawa reminded me of my hometown, Kerala in the southern state of India, where I spend the first 20 years of my life. Life revolves around the community and the residents know each other by our names. Spirituality is woven into our daily lives with rituals, celebrations, and ancestral worship. Temple visits and festivities blend seamlessly into our schedules.

    Most of the habits mentioned in the book are already inculcated in my upbringing. So although the takeaway for me personally was not much, it was a good reminder to go back to my roots – the habits and rituals I brushed aside living in this country for a few decades. Overall the book was pleasant but nothing extraordinary.

    Quotes from the book that caught my attention:

    • Food won’t help you live longer. The secret is smiling and having a good time.
    • A wise person should not ignore life’s pleasures. He can live with these pleasures but should always remain conscious of how easy it is to be enslaved by them.
    • There is nothing wrong with enjoying lives pleasures as long as they do not take control of your life as you enjoy them. You have to be prepared for these pleasures to disappear.  The goal is not to eliminate all feelings and pleasures from our lives but to eliminate negative emotions.
    • Happiness is always determined by your heart.
    • Our intuition and curiosity are very powerful internal compasses to help us connect with our ikigai.
    • Life is not a problem to be solved. Just remember to have something that keeps you busy, doing what you love while being surrounded by the people who love you.
    • Fill your belly to 80%.
    • We have to learn to turn off autopilot that’s steering us in an endless loop.
    • Have a stoic attitude. Serenity in the face of a setback.
    • What we need is not a peaceful existence but a challenge we can strive to meet by applying all the skills at our disposal.
    • Compass over maps. A good compass will take you where you need to go. It is important to reflect on what we hope to achieve before starting a project. Have a clear objective. Keep this objective in mind without obsessing over it.
    • Concentrating on one thing may be the single most important factor in achieving flow.
    • Happiness is in the doing, not in the results.
    • If your want to stay busy even when there’s no need to work there has to be an Olivia on your horizon a purpose that guides you throughout your life and pushes you to make things of beauty and utility for the community and yourself.
    • They have an important purpose in life or even several. They have an ikigai but they don’t take it too seriously. They are relaxed and enjoy all that they do.

    From the interview with Okinawa people.

    • Eat and sleep and you will live a long time. You have to learn to relax.
    • If you keep your mind and body busy you’ll be around for a long time.
    • Open your heart to people with a nice smile on your face.
    • The best way to avoid anxiety is to get out in the street and say hello to people.
    • You have to keep your ancestors in mind. It’s the first thing I do every morning.
    • If you don’t work, your body will break down.
    • Nurture your friendships everyday.
    • Chatting and drinking tea with my neighbors. Thats the best thing in life.
    • Live an unhurried life.
    • Always staying busy and doing one thing at a time. Without getting overwhelmed.
    • Celebrate all the time , even the little things in life. Music, song and dance are an essential part of daily life.

    Okinawa diet

    • Add plenty of vegetables and fruits to your diet.
    • Eat less sugar, and if at al you eat make it cane sugar.
    • Its ok to have white rice everyday.
    • Add less salt to your food.
    • Eat more fish.

    Two key things to do

    • Accept your feelings
    • Do what you should be doing

    Two key questions to ask yourself

    1. What do we need to be doing right now?
    2. What action should we be taking?

    The 10 Rules of Ikigai

    1. Stay active and don’t retire.
    2. Take it slow.
    3. Don’t fill your stomach.
    4. Surround yourself with good friends.
    5. Get in shape for your next birthday.
    6. Smile.
    7. Reconnect with nature.
    8. Give thanks.
    9. Live in the moment.
    10. Find your Ikigai.