Finding my way back to writing and creating
I had a meandering career in the tech world. For almost 2 decades, I tried different hats – from web development to technical writing – to see what fit me perfectly.
All the while, I harbored a deep yearning to write and create art, secretly nurturing my dream of becoming a writer and artist.

I longed to express myself through writing and art—specifically hand-lettering and illustration. I admired women building their creative brands and dreamed of one day doing the same. I craved that life.
I saw myself in the characters from movies and books who were writers—the aspiring Aisha Banerjee in Wake Up Sid, who moves to Mumbai to chase her dream of becoming a writer, and Carrie Bradshaw from Sex and the City, who pens a weekly column and freelance articles, typing away on her computer, her work eventually compiled into books. Among all the Desperate Housewives on Wisteria Lane, I was particularly drawn to Susan Mayer who freelanced as a children’s illustrator.
Their journeys resonated deeply with my own aspirations.
I made countless attempts at writing, starting several blogs, only to abandon them halfway as life’s demands—from motherhood to career and to the responsibility of caring for my parents —took over.
My Google Docs and Notes app are filled with ideas and thoughts I collected during my travels, but I never dared to share them. I have countless notes filled with topics that never saw the light of day.
In 2022, I took on a daily writing challenge. I committed to writing for 30 minutes every day and published blog posts on my tech website for over three months. While the articles didn’t make a splash in the publishing world or attract much attention, I vividly remember the euphoria I felt while writing. I was in a state of flow, and my heart sang the whole day, whenever I typed away on the keyboard.
But like all my previous attempts, I dropped off after three months. Yet, the bliss I felt during that time stayed with me. Even now, when I think back to those moments, I can still feel the joy that writing brought me. I’ve been longing to recapture that feeling.
Last month, I joined a coaching group, and through a series of coaching and journaling, I realized that my heart truly wants to write and create.
I’m yearning to feel what I experienced during those three months. I want to express myself creatively once more.
I learned what was holding me back. Coming from an immigrant background, I was told writing and art are impractical and unrealistic paths. That belief became so ingrained in my mind that I saw them as mere hobbies to be pursued “one day.” Coupled with self-doubt, fear of failure, and fear of judgment from others, I retreated to the safety of my tech job.
For years, I hid behind my tech roles, afraid to reveal my true self or even admit it to myself. But deep down, I knew I was a creative soul bursting to break free.
Last month, I read a romance novel called It’s All in the Planets by the Indian author Preeti Shenoy. She had a popular blog back when blogs were just being discovered, and I had followed her journey since those early days. I’ve always admired her writing life from afar. I even met her in person during my last trip to India, when I ran into her at an event in a Bangalore mall while I was hanging out with my family. Her story, her talk, and how she became a published writer left a lasting impression on me.
In the book, the main character, Nidhi, is a thirty-two-year-old woman who quits her corporate job to follow her passion and now teaches pottery classes because that’s what nourishes her soul. I fell in love with this character and yearned to be her. I felt my heart couldn’t hold it in any longer—this desire to pursue my passion needed to come out.

It’s time for me to find my way back. To reconnect with my dream, dust it off, and give it the care it deserves.
As I’m getting close to a milestone birthday at the end of 2024, I thought, “What better time than now to do something special for myself and start working on my dream!”.
And thus it began!
What’s a dream you’ve been holding off, one that you admire in others but have always thought is impractical and unrealistic, one that is clouded by self-doubt and fear? drop me a note at femyram@gmail.com.
XO

☼ Thanks for making it to the end! I’m so grateful to have you here! I’D love if you support me BY subscribing to my NEWSLETTER of illustrated essays called Sunshine & Chai.
femy